Last weekend my brother and his wife phoned from the east coast. We chatted about our days and then John says "I've got a business proposition for you." "Good, I need a job." I say. "Charo has some cousins in the Phillipines..." he continues "We were wondering if you would be pen pals with them, they need to establish contacts here as the first step to coming to the U.S." That sounds alright I'm thinking, I havn't had a pen pal since grade school. Then I laughingly comment "Are you asking me to marry some girl so she can be a U.S. citizen?" There is a small laugh and long pause then Charo takes the phone and breaks it down.

They offer me a two week trip to the Phillipines to meet the girl and family, $2,ooo. and they also pay all processing expenses. She will also live with them on the other coast and we can get divorced after a short time.

Being as broke as I am lately this sounds like an alright deal. Except that I'm not into lying to the INS or anyone for that matter. "Well maybe you will really like her and fall in love" Charo offers. That's possible, except for the fact that I'm totally GAY. Turns out this is a plot to make me straight and get this young lady citizenship. I don't know about the latter but the former is pretty darn unlikely.

I am a homosexual. 1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex 2 : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex.

I am gay. 1 a : happily excited : MERRY b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits 2 a : BRIGHT, LIVELY b : brilliant in color 3 : given to social pleasures; also : LICENTIOUS.

I am queer. 2 a : differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal b (1) : ECCENTRIC, UNCONVENTIONAL (2) : mildly insane : TOUCHED

This request really bothered me for a few hours and I'm still trying to determine just why. I think it has to do with the deceitful nature of the act and that the idea that my family still doesn't accept me for who I am. I thought we were past this. Even when I finally came out to my [then 72 year old] father just 2 years ago he said "Well you're old enough to know what you want and what you don't and I still love you just the same." Thank you. Thank you very much.